Special Announcement: The Most Surprising News You’ll Hear in the History of Mankind… It’s Tool Time

Way back in the paleolithic era of Earth, there was this band called Tool. They released albums extremely infrequently and lived to annoy those who joined their following. They became legends of the art of trolling and built on this reputation in the decade and several years afterward, always existing but rarely performing and absolutely never releasing anything new. That time has shockingly come to an end, and here we are, staring down the release of Tool’s long awaited fifth studio album. To say I’m surprised we actually got to this point would be factual, and yet totally within the realm of possibility in this timeline we have been thrust into here in the year 2019. So this upcoming three part series will actually happen, against all odds, just like the new Tool album’s oncoming impact. Welcome to Tool Time with Jim the Tool Maynard Keenan.

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